Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

but cobblestones are scary

I have outfit envy. But the purpose of this post is to lament the fact that I have ankle boots almost identical to these, but I don't wear them for two reasons. 1. I have yet to master the art of navigating rough terrain in stilettos. 2. The only time somewhat appropriate for me to wear those killers is the weekend. And chances are that at those so-called appropriate events, I often find myself in a state which further debilitates my ability to walk in them successfully.

ALAS!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

I'd Hook Up With// Hilary Duff

Please, for me, go watch this.

Now, tell me that you don't feel just a bit sexy. Perhaps you wouldn't go so far as to say that you're wanting Hilary Duff wearing nothing but the remains of a giant tutu that you personally have just shredded away ferociously like the love-animal that you are, but you're a little turned on, right? Maybe dark lipstick isn't your thing, but aren't you wondering why you don't have a thick black satin ribbon (for tying ever so gently over the eyes of your lover, or your own) in your top drawer right now? I sure am. These leftover red, green, and gold sparkly Christmas ribbons aren't going to cut it. And if it weren't entirely juvenile (and bad for my teeth), I'd probably be sucking on one of my fingers right now, for lack of the thumbs of someone else. She makes it look so good.

Hand me a ribbon and a pool cue, I'm getting under the table with Lizzie McGuire.